So it’s been a while since I’ve done one of these. With every great movie I see each year there’s always a horrible one to balance everything out. I use to just ignore making a worst movies list because I don’t want to encourage people to seek out these truly atrocious films and talking about them actually irritates me. But everyone insists I do one and I haven’t been posting reviews regularly so I guess I have to compensate somehow. So FINE, I’ll do one of these just for you, the reader. By popular demand here are my top 10 worst films of 2021:

10) Godzilla vs. Kong

Director: Adam Wingard

Remember when it was announced that Floyd Mayweather was going to fight Manny Paquio? Two of the most renowned boxing greats finally going toe-to-toe with one another to once and for all settle the ultimate debate of who would win between the two. It was a disappointing fight for all, and that reflects my feelings for this movie. #GodzillaKongFightNight2021 was a huge disappointment for me largely due to the fact that there wasn’t enough Godzilla-Kong fighting to justify its two and a half hour runtime. The film still forces us to care about these boring, dull human characters that add nothing to the story; Millie Bobbie Brown’s character from King of the Monsters was largely irrelevant and could’ve been cut out entirely. The story was way too contrived and convoluted for a movie whose premise is a giant ape punching a radioactive iguana over and over again, the writing was all over the place, and the epic kaiju battles were not enough to justify its monstrous runtime. This is a movie where the only time I would ever revisit it would be through youtube clips of the two titular monsters duking it out; I would never sit through the entire movie again. It was forgettable, it was long, I expect more from my giant monkey-radioactive iguana fights.

9) Mortal Kombat

Director: Simon McQuoid

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-s7MST8Aa3A&ab_channel=Kaiser

8) Cruella

Director: Craig Gillespie

Goddammit why do I keep doing this to myself?! Why do I keep insisting on watching these horrible Disney remakes expecting something different?!?! Of all the Disney villains to get their own origin story, Cruella de Vill was one of the worst ones for them to do, especially after what Disney tried to do with Maleficent. I can’t imagine anyone trying to have us sympathize with a truly evil woman that wants to skin Dalmatian puppies and at one point drowned a whole bag of kittens (yeah that actually happens, go read the original novel 101 Dalmatians was based on), but that didn’t stop Disney from trying, and my god they failed spectacularly. Cruella’s backstory and motives in this film was all kinds of messed up; she’s a kind and caring outcast to her friends except for when she’s not, and she’s also the wicked Cruella they sing songs about except for when she isn’t. Emma Stone, who on paper is a perfect choice to play a younger Cruella, gives a really irritating performance, but to be fair I don’t think is any fault of her own considering the direction of this film is obnoxious as hell. The stupid flashy camera work and fast pace editing is too safe to be considered “edgy” and “artistic” and too ridiculous to be considered anything else. Overall Cruella is just another Disney remake that continues to reveal their lack of understanding of why their original animated films were so great. Sorry, just wasn’t a fan.

I will say this about the movie though: if you ever wanted to see a Dalmatian spartan kick a woman off a cliff, boy is this the film for you!

7) Old

Director: M. Night Shyamalan

M Night Shyamalan’s back at it again babee with another actual garbage screenplay. Old was a hodgepodge of wasted talent tied together with Shyamalan’s signature bad direction and writing. The cast bless their hearts do the best they can out of an actively atrocious screenplay, particularly Vicky Kreps who last time we saw her was in PTA’s spectacular Phantom Thread where she was in my opinion outperforming FREAKING DANIEL DAY LEWIS. The cinematography was well shot, which give Shyamalan some credit at least he’s been pairing with some talented DOPs, the music gives off the feeling of dread that Shyamalan at one point was a master of, all of that is wasted on the fact that Shyamalan doesn’t know how to direct his actors, especially child actors who were all especially terrible in this film. Did I also mention the screenplay just freaking SUCKS?!?! Believe it or not it’s not even the worst screenplay from 2021 but if I were to rank this list on screenplay alone this would easily be at least number two or three. Regardless this film does do more things better than the rest of the list, but man was this painful to watch.

6) Tom & Jerry

Director: Tim Story

So I already reviewed this movie a while back so I won’t go into too much detail. Click here if you want to read my full thoughts on the film. Long story short, this Tom & Jerry movie was a waste of time full of generic kids movie stuff and not enough Tom and Jerry shenanigans. Animation’s a nice blend of 2D and 3D and at the very least Tom and Jerry don’t talk, but nothing else about it was memorable or even good for that matter. Bad movie, moving on.

5) Venom: Let There Be Carnage

Director: Andy Serkis

Venom 2 Electric Boogaloo was baaad. Again, I already reviewed this film on this site so you can read the full review here but to summarize this was a poor superhero flick with horrible writing, god awful pacing, and not enough fun carnage with a cheap afterthought of a “secret ending” made even more redundant after Spider-Man: No Way Home became a thing. This was a bad movie and no amount of comic book fans can convince me otherwise. NEXT!

4) Space Jam: A New Legacy

Director: Malcolm D. Lee

Space Jam 2 came to Slam, but it had no Jam. Now I can’t really say I’m a fan of the original Space Jam since I can’t sit through that film without cringing at the film’s dated comedy and bad acting from NBA superstar Michael Jordan, but at the very least I can say that it delivers on what it promises; there was Space, and there was Jam. Space Jam: A New Legacy has neither of those; they never go to space, and I certainly wasn’t jamming. At this point I’m certain to believe that Warner Bros just hates its animated properties. 2020’s Scoob! was hardly a Scooby-Doo movie, Tom & Jerry hardly had Tom and Jerry in it, and Space Jam 2 tries so hard to be anything but a Space Jam movie. They don’t even do a remix of the damn theme song for crying out loud. Most of the film was spent advertising a bunch of other properties on HBO Max like Game of Thrones, The Matrix, Austin Powers, Rick and Morty, and Casablanca of all things; you know, properties that kids can DEFINITELY recognize. I mean the first film is kinda guilty of this too but this film cranks it up to an embarrassing degree. Much like his predecessor Lebron James can’t act for crap, the Looney Toons are hardly even in this film, Don Cheadle manages to defy all expectations and give us an absolutely terrible performance, and the story lacks any of the charm that the first film had, and the first film REALLY struggled with that effort which says a lot about this film. This managed to be even more of a commercial than the first Space Jam was. I hated every moment of this film and I wish to never see it again.

Also…this.

3) The Matrix: Resurrections

Director: Lana Wachoski

Jesus man Warner Bros did NOT have a good 2021. Almost all of Warner Bros’s films were either mediocre or straight up garbage, but none of them were as absolutely migraine-inducing as The Matrix: Resurrections. Matrix 4 is easily the worst Matrix movie in the franchise mainly because of just how asinine the plot is this time around. The last two Matrix sequels were already convoluted enough, but holy crap! Lana continues to show just how incompetent she is as a writer and manages to not only outdo the last two movies with this installment’s grandiose and convoluted plot, but also makes it somehow DUMBER with the details. Neo and Trinity are both back for the STUPIDEST reason imaginable despite both being very much dead in the previous movies (spoiler warning I guess, but honestly in this case who cares?), and yet outside of Jada Pinkett Smith returning once again as Niobe (in some very bad old person make-up) no other actor from the original trilogy return as their very much alive respectable character. Morpheus is played by NOT Lawrence Fishburne and is now Yahya Abdul-Mateen II for reasons apparently explained in a now-defunct 2005 Matrix video game. That’s right, The Matrix franchise has now become the Kingdom Hearts of film franchises, where now in order to “get” the story you’ll need to engage in EVERY SINGLE MEDIUM involving the freaking Matrix. Despite being helmed by A Wachowski, the action sequences for this Matrix movie this time around was shockingly terrible. Yeah remember those revolutionary and iconic action sequences from the first Matrix film and even in the second and third films? Well good old Lana decided to boot the stunt coordinator responsible for those iconic action scenes and instead decide to do it herself I guess because reasons? The results are some of the goofiest and uninspired action scenes I’ve seen in a freaking Matrix movie. The visuals were disappointingly basic for a Matrix movie, the CG was somehow WORSE than the last two films, the music lacks that cool techno vibe from the trilogy, and just like with every nostalgia-fueled sequel/reboot, the constant barrage of references throughout the film gets super obnoxious, only this time Lana tries to play it off as “clever” and “meta” when in reality it’s “generic” and “incredibly out-of-touch.” What a way to end the year Warner Bros, do better next time.

2) Clifford the Big Red Dog

Director: Walt Becker

sigh So I originally did not plan on watching this movie. I didn’t even think I was ever going to watch this movie. I wasn’t big on Clifford the Big Red Dog growing up, so why would I ever care about a movie version of a franchise I never cared for? But alas, fate has a funny way of making the impossible happen. Somehow I ended up watching this movie, and I was M I S E R A B L E. Clifford the Big Red Dog was one of the most painfully unpleasant movies I’ve ever had to see. The acting was bland, the characters were dull, the story was as generic as you could come up with, the set pieces were basic, CG Clifford was the stuff of nightmares, and the editing…Oh god the editing. Now you’re probably thinking why should all this matter when the movie is clearly trying to be just for kids to enjoy without any thought, and you know what yeah you’re right. This is just a kids movie not trying to go for critical acclaim; It’s not trying to be Inside Out levels of deep, it just wants to have fun. But since when have this site ever been a site for kids to use? I’m a grown ass man reviewing films for other grown ass men and women, so if you’re a child reading this wondering if this is the right movie for you then I’m the wrong freaking person to ask. Anyways Clifford was atrocious to watch and I don’t even know why I had to watch it. This film is the equivalent of TV static; you might as well have your kid watch TV static for ninety minutes and it will have as much of a lasting effect on your child as this movie will. This is cinematic junk food, here to waste you and your child’s time. Just watch literally any of the six hundred plus episodes of Spongebob Squarepants also available on Paramount+ instead of this film. There is literally no reason you need to see this film, so just don’t.

1) God’s Not Dead: We The People

Director: Vance Null

Yes, you read that right; there was another God’s Not Dead movie made, and of course I was going to watch it. What do you take me for? The God’s Not Dead franchise has had a special history with me for some time now. As someone with a Christian background I’ve made it a habit of watching Christian films, and if you’ve followed me for a long time then you know how much the God’s Not Dead movies mentally hurt me with every installment. This latest God’s Not Dead movie from the studio formally known as PureFlix is no different; it’s the same Alt-Right propaganda disguised as the Gospel you’ve seen from the previous films, only now it’s more upfront about it.

The film revolves around a family fighting to defend the right to run a homeschool but the Big Bad Liberal Socialists are trying to shut them down because they’re also teaching gasp the Bible as well. Much like Don’t Look Up this film gets extremely obnoxious with their message, but at least in Don’t Look Up’s defense that film at least remembers that it’s a film and does its best to be an entertaining one at that. By the time God’s Not Dead 4 enters the second half it just turns into a dreary lecture session where EVERY DAMN CHARACTER gives a freaking monologue about liberty and stuff (not a lot of Jesus talk going around interesting enough for a “Christian” film), and the arguments they raise are FREAKING INSANE! “Oh Common Core is bad cause they’re teaching our kids that the Founding Fathers are a bunch of old white slave owners, BuT mOsT oF tHeM wErE jUsT kIdS!” Kids like 26 YEAR OLDS Edwards Rutledge and Thomas Lynch Jr, both who were among the 56 “kids” who signed the Declaration of Independence, 41 of them who owned slaves (“Absolutely some owned slaves, BuT mOsT dIdN’t”). I kid you not these are ACTUAL arguments the film uses on why Common Core is bad. So not only are the film’s arguments incredibly redundant and irrelevant to the question at hand, THEY’RE ALSO FLAT OUT WRONG!

Don’t even get me started about the technicals for this film. Just like with previous entries, the filmmaking just sucks; Edits are all over the place, shots are uninspired, music was generic and bad, the performances were god awful, and the pacing especially at the second half was so goddamn slow. God’s Not Dead 3, despite it being trash overall, at least showed promise for the franchise; that movie looked like it was made from someone who actually knows how to make a freaking movie. This film walks back on the improvements of the third film and goes back to the same old formula the Christian conservative audience eat up every single time.

There is no character development, no structure, no freaking point to this movie even existing. It’s more Alt-Right propaganda looking to milk more money from the gullible Christian crowd by selling them the same old product with a different label slapped on it every time. I’m glad this movie came and went with no fanfare, no box office glory, and no one even knowing it exists in the first place. God’s Not Dead, but this franchise sure is, and the sooner we let it stay dead and move on the better. This was the worst film I’ve seen from 2021 I hated every minute of it, thank you goodbye.