Review: The Super Mario Bros. Movie
It’s-a-me, Mr. Lee! I just saw the new Super Mario Bros. Movie, the latest video game adaptation from Illumination and I thought it was pretty dang cringe.
I honestly was not expecting much out of this movie knowing it’s from Illumination, an animation studio with a notoriously mediocre track record. The negative reaction from critics when it came out is quite frankly unsurprising to me, as were the extremely glowing audience reception the film garnered in contrast. When you think about it this kind of stark division is right up Illumination’s M.O.; it’s a cheaply made kids movie that does just enough to appeal to its target demographic, which I guess in this case are the die-hard Nintendo fans that wants justice for their Italian plumber mascot after the disastrous 1993 live-action movie.
This is most definitely not among the studio’s worst films, but make no mistake The Super Mario Bros. Movie doesn’t do anything special to stand out among the sea of mediocre kids films we see especially from Illumination, and I guess that’s enough for the fans to still enjoy it.
What’s the story? Mario and Luigi are two brothers in Brooklyn starting their own plumbing company, but as they try to make a difference and fix a major flooding they get sucked into a bright and colorful world filled with mushrooms, turtle Nazis, and go-karting apes. The brothers get separated with Mario ending up in the Mushroom Kingdom led by EPIC GIRLBOSS Princess Peach while Luigi ends up in the spoopy Dark Lands captured by the King Koopa himself Bowser. Now everyone needs to band together and stop Turtle Hitler from taking over the world and stuff.
So as you can see, the story is not the most complex, but who could blame them? It’s a movie based on Super Mario Bros., a game where you play a bouncing plumber saving the princess from a castle. I don’t have a problem with a simple story, in fact I prefer a simpler story over one with too many twists and turns. My issue lies with the pacing of this story. The plot is the bare minimum held together by a string of conveniences so that our characters can get from Point-A to Point-B. The film makes no room for detours, nor any room for any sort of character development for that matter.
Because of the film’s break-neck speed, the characters suffer for it. This film gave me no reason to care about Mario’s journey through the Mushroom Kingdom; just because he’s the recognizable mascot of a popular video game franchise doesn’t mean it’s okay to not give him any sort of characterization for the movie he’s in. Maybe that’s okay to do for video games, but this is not a video game; it’s a feature-length movie where we actually need to care about the plot and characters, of which this film barely has.
Mario doesn’t have much of a character arc and he hardly has any chemistry with any of the other side characters in the film outside of Luigi, who spends most of the movie in a cage while a magical baby star whisper sweet depressive nothings into his ear. Anytime the film shows us any bit of character development it immediately moves on to the next scene, giving us no time to actually know these characters.
The controversial voice cast in this movie is overall hit-or-miss. Believe it or not Chris Pratt isn’t that bad as Mario, but like most of the star-studded cast in this film he doesn’t do anything special to make the role truly his. Pretty much anyone in this film could’ve been voiced by any other actor and it wouldn’t have made any difference; in some cases it honestly would’ve made the movie better in hindsight. Jack Black as Bowser is the only one in the cast that I felt like actually tried to give a memorable performance, and for the most part he works in the role.
The animation is a significant improvement over other Illumination films, although you still have some of Illumination’s mediocrity shining through every once in a while, whether it be the de-saturated blue sky present in ALL of Illumination’s films or some re-used character models from previous Illumination films. Speaking of Illumination tropes, much like their other movies the soundtrack is god awful. On one hand you got these nice re-interpretations of classic Mario tracks littered throughout the film, but on the other hand the film is stuffed with a plethora of overused pop songs, many of which don’t even fit the scene we’re watching (remember that one level of Donkey Kong Country where you were driving a go-kart to the tune of A-ha’s “Take On Me” playing in the background?)
Overall this was another mediocre Illumination movie made so you can pop it on the background of a daycare and not think about the kids for another 90 minutes. It’s for sure among one of Illumination’s better movies (which honestly is not saying much), but it’s still a cheap product made by profit-driven corporations that I won’t remember watching long after its release, and if for some reason that upsets you than please understand that this whole-ass review is ultimately a singular opinion out of many different hundreds on the internet.
Look if you like this movie then good for you; I’m happy you’re able to enjoy something that I can’t. Art is subjective; there’s no right or wrong answer about what makes a movie good or bad for everyone. If all you’re looking for is a Mario movie that’s at the very least fun to watch and you got exactly that out of this film then don’t let me stop you from liking it.
That being said, we live in a time and age where we can do so much more with our animated kids films. Not too long ago I had a near religious experience in a theater watching a movie based on freaking LEGOS. Hell just last year we had a Puss in Boots sequel that went above and beyond the usual cinematic junk food we usually feed our kids.
I believe our kids deserve better, and quite frankly this movie could’ve been so much better. But alas, it’s just another kids movie chocked full of fan service for die-hard fans to recognize, and I guess that’s enough for most people.
Final Verdict: 4/10